Oh, shoot. Crap! EFF.

Not many people on my floor are religious. Regardless, most of us have chosen to give up at least one thing for the season of Lent. We're not trying to discover our spiritual selves or bring ourselves closer to God, but we all believe that there is something in sacrifice that centers the soul. Some of us are sacrificing to find what is really important in life, some of us are doing it to support the others, and the rest might just be doing it because everyone else is.

One of my friends has deactivated her Facebook account and will restrain from checking her page for a month. TJ, R, and I are giving up meat for a month. This will be especially hard for TJ because for her, meat is synonymous to life itself. Since I don't particularly need meat in my diet, going veggie for a month shouldn't be too bad. This is why I've chosen to forgo swearing as well. That, my friends, is already taking a lot of self-restraint. I never realized how much I cursed until I deleted those words from my vocabulary.

I'm looking forward to a quiet evening with Swift. I'm also really excited to go swimming tomorrow as its been too long since I've been in a pool. Oh, how I've missed the chlorine.

p.s. New header. Check it.

Swift

Unwilling to drag myself out of bed today, I did an A.Lo and slept for 12 hours before finally emerging from under the covers. I decided I'd be unproductive all day unless I undid the sleep deprivation that's been plaguing me for the past few days. Since I skipped my classes today, I decided that I should be productive and write my essay, which I've been doing until now. I'm taking a "brain break," a term coined by P and A.Lo, to further develop the blisters on my left fingertips.

I finally took/uploaded pictures of Swift (aka White Horse).

















I left my camera out after taking pictures and R took this picture of me, Swift, and my tangled mass of ungroomed hair. I feel like a schlep.

sleep deprivation

A.Lo came over last night to help P with her math homework, and to help H and me study for our midterm. When we finished, he decided it was too late for him to walk back to his dorm, so he spent the night in my room. We stayed up playing guitar and doing other randoms until 4am.

I took my math midterm this morning on four hours of sleep. I can only say that I'm glad I did well on my first midterm because this one was total and complete crap. I was so angry because I had studied and understood all of the concepts covered on the exam, but couldn't apply them because the equations were given in ways that were meant to confuse unsuspecting students like myself. Le sigh.

I got back to my dorm and was too irritated to nap, so I retreated to the lounge with Lappie and my new guitar, White Horse (I think she needs an alias..."White Horse" just doesn't roll off the tongue). As of right now, I mastered memorized can play Green Day's "Good Riddance" and Howie Day's "Collide." I spent an hour and a half in the lounge fuming playing guitar and finally got over this morning's exam. Now I'm calm, shleepy, and ready for that nap, but it's time to go to chemistry. FML.

White Horse

Today, I spent hours studying for my math midterm only to realize that I could fail this one and it wouldn't affect my grade because I aced my first midterm. FML. (I'm in love with fmylife.com) Really, though, I worked really hard on the practice midterm and extra practice problems (with A.Lo's help, thank god) and now understand most of the material. My class just made the transition from single- to multi-variable calculus, so we're all feeling quite lost at the moment. I've never really felt the need to study for math until this quarter.

Fed up with studying, I went over to A.Lo's dorm and played guitar (translation: he taught me how to play). This was the first time my fingers traced the frets in over two years. As glorious as it was to be playing again, I was disappointed at myself for forgetting pretty much everything I had learned in my previous guitar lessons. The saddest part is that I had lost the calluses on my hand when I stopped playing and now I have to get them back. The fingertips on my left hand burn when I run them under hot water and tingle as I type. Still, I left A.Lo's dorm in the best mood and brought his spare acoustic, which I've named White Horse, back to my dorm with me to practice in my free time.

I watched He's Just Not That Into You last night. P watched it a while ago and hasn't stopped raving about it, so I was prepared for the movie to wow me. I was disappointed. I thought it was pretty standard, and not good enough to make my favorites list. I felt like the cast had so much potential and so much of their talent was wasted in making the somewhat bland film. Plus, the ending was so predictable - so typical. I'm a sucker for both chick flicks and happy endings, but this one just didn't leave much of an impression on me in the end.

chem lab and pity texts

Meet my lab group. I've spent more time these past two days on chemistry lab than on life. My life is so sad.

TJ says, "PARTY in the hizhousefizzleshizzle!"

J says, "Time for lab. Change into pants."

C says... actually, she was pretty quiet.


The thing about the pity texts... I was in the lounge with a friend a while ago and I was expecting a text. I thought my phone vibrated, so I was sad when I discovered that I had actually imagined the vibration. He felt [I had typed "left" instead of "felt" earlier. Maybe I'm more dyslexic than I thought...] sorry for me and sent me a pity text. When I retold this story to my lounge, my floormates thought it would be hilarious to bombard me with pity texts.

Melinda says, "Stop pity texting me."

Happy Valentine's Day!

I don't believe in Singles Awareness Day. Why celebrate a holiday whose acronym is SAD? No, I don't need a valentine to celebrate Valentine's Day. We can all celebrate love.

I spent my Valentine's Day frolicking around Santa Monica with a bunch of floormates (and A.Lo). TJ and I thrifted at Goodwill. I finally bought a blazer (for just $6)! We then promenaded down Third Street and had more jolly fun. Some of the boys on my floor had fun trying on brightly colored denim inside Pac Sun. Of course, no homo...

Yesterday, our dining hall played "I Must Not Chase the Boys," a song by my favorite band in 7th-8th grade, Play. Anyone who remembers them gets extra special kudos from me. I remember being so excited to see them in concert with P. Last night, we blasted their songs on my laptop and sang to them in our dorm room. It was a fun night. For those of you who need a refresher, this is Play's "Us Against the World." :)



Tonight, P and I are going to have movie night! It's been a good Valentine's Day. I hope you guys had a good day, too. Hope you're all well. :)

I miss you, sunshine.

I made a new banner yesterday because the old one made me cold just looking at it. I chose a picture taken on Waikiki beach because it seemed like the warmest option. I wish I were back on that beach. I wish it were summer again so that carefree feeling could return.

Reality check: I'm in LA. It's 50 degrees outside and I'm freezing.

At least I have the weekend to look forward to. And my headband; it hasn't been delivered yet. I'm really excited for a highlighter party I'm planning on going to tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect, or what to wear, for that matter.

Brrr, it's cold in here.

Since I haven't ranted about school in a while...

MATH: I skipped math this morning to reward myself for finishing the first round of midterms, which (knock on wood) went fairly well. Afterwards, H informed me that we've finished with single-variable calculus and moved on to multi-variable in lecture this morning, to which I responded, "FML." I tried to do the homework, but got stuck on the first problem, so I called A.Lo for backup. It's a good thing I have genius friends.

CHEM: As strange as it is to say so, chem is getting better. I'm actually understanding (again, knock on wood) the new section on kinetics. Plus, Laurence cancelled class this Friday to jump start the long weekend!

CHEM LAB: The midterm went well, so I'm hoping my grade isn't in jeopardy yet. Someone told me that Johnni Pang grades all of this midterms personally, so I probably won't see the grade for a while, but I've come to expect my grade to constantly need saving in all things chemistry-related. On the bright side, my TA for this class is so eccentric and doesn't usually know what she's doing, so she's not too hard on us. To add to that brightness, my lab partner knows his stuff and entertains me endlessly. Maybe there's hope for me in chemistry after all...

ENGLISH COMP: Class is interesting. That's really all I have to say about it. I just don't see how I can ace a first draft, revise said draft according to my teacher's specifications, then get a B as a final grade on the paper. How unreasonable.

Things I'm looking forward to:
1. THREE DAY WEEKEND, that actually starts at 10:00AM on Friday for me. :)
2. Shopping in Santa Monica this weekend with P, A.Lo, and TJ.
3. Authentic Thai cuisine in our dining halls, pointed out to me by C.
4. A package in the mail containing this:



The frigid weather encouraged me to order this Whitney Port-inspired headband from Bryn. How can I say I'm from NorCal when I feel the need to bundle up every time the temperature drops below 65?

I made a new header and played around with the text and background colors. Looking at the pictures from the snow in my old header was making me colder than necessary.

Come again some other day.

Dr. Lavelle, before beginning his lecture today, asks "so, did you guys do anything interesting this weekend?" He then proceeds to duck under the podium as memories of yesterday's Chemistry midterm evoke groans from the class. Well played, Laurence.

So that was my weekend. Saturday was spent studying chemistry, and Sunday morning was spent studying some more. After the midterm, I went with some floormates to Nijiya, a cutesy Japanese market full of Asian goodies conveniently located next to a Yogurtland. Frozen yogurt topped with fresh fruit and a mound of mochi is my favorite pick-me-up.

Thank you again to everyone who made my birthday special. And thanks to everyone who bought me presents on my wish list! What can I say? I have awesome friends who spoil me rotten. :)

I also got this deliciously cozy sweater from Urban as a gift. Rumi of Fashion Toast features it on her blog here and here.



As much as I love watching the rain fall, and as much as I know California needs water, I can't help but feel annoyed at this weather...but that's probably because I don't have any rain gear but the tiny purple umbrella that I barely fit under. Rain, rain, go away.

Thankful

I am so grateful for all the people who made my birthday amazing - everyone who called, texted, and left facebook messages. Thanks to those who came to dinner with me, and to those who played Cranium with me afterwards despite having tons of schoolwork to do. What would I do without you guys?

The biggest thank you goes to my Be Fri, the bestest friend/roomie I could ever have asked for, or not asked for but got anyways. Thank you for the bombardment of text messages at midnight, the birthday wallpaper, and the present (talk about best present EVER! looking forward to movie nights!). Thank you for not getting mad at the harmonica wake-up, and for letting me wear your spankies to dinner. And thanks for everything else you do, like listening to me complain about my dry skin. I LOVE YOU!

And happy birthday to DENNIS HO, my birthday and eggettes buddy! I miss you/ eggettes over spring break for sure!

time?

I'm currently strolling down nostalgia lane listening to "Born to Make You Happy" by Britney Spears and "The One" by Backstreet Boys. How good was life before high school? Oh, how I miss those carefree days of uniforms, bagged lunches, and lining up by gender.

Today is February 1st. In two days, I turn nineteen. In a year and two days, I turn twenty (MY GOD, THAT IS A BIG NUMBER). How did this happen? Where did the time go? Just last night, Mommy tucked me into bed and kissed me goodnight, and somehow, this morning, I woke up in the upper bunk of a college dorm.

Throughout high school, I was afraid to take too many chances. I was afraid to let my guard down and face rejection or failure. Only in senior year, when I realized that time was running out and I really didn't care what my classmates thought of me anymore, did I take my mask off and really enjoy myself.

Over the summer, I promised myself that I would be a different person in college. I would be honest about my emotions and unafraid of judgment.

But now that I'm here, I find myself as the scared little freshman again. When will I find the courage to to take a chance on something that could change me forever? Soon, I hope. College, like high school, won't last forever.



I want to find the kind of love worth singing about.